I have to say I am ever grateful to blogging. If I hadn’t made blogging a part of my life, I don’t know if I would have been able to do private journalling like I have. I remember in times past I would open word and try to write my thoughts but it never flowed right. This time, I just pretended I was blogging and the words never stopped. It has been so cathartic, has brought so much clarity to my life. I feel like I’ve really looked at my life for the first time with true clarity. I understand patterns of things that happened and why. I understand the legacy my parents gave me, some good, lots bad, issues with my mother. I forgive myself for things I did and didn’t do. I forgive him for things he did and didn’t do.

One of my new goals is to get healthier. I eat a fairly healthy diet but I always ate too much of what I did eat and I drank way too much coke. I also haven’t exercised in years. I used to be very athletic years ago and it’s time I started finding the physical side of me. I weighed myself yesterday, something I don’t tend to do often. I’ve lost about 12 lbs since Bram was born 18 months ago. It’s been stable at that for a while. I am going to actively exercise, drink more water, keep up my caffeine free diet and I will be on my way to a more fit and trim me.