Well Alec is finally back to school and on the mend. Looks like the antibiotics did the trick. Bram has been sick too, but so far it seems like the standard cold.

I feel lately like I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I have an Uncle that has been in a special care home and I’m the contact person for him. He has Parkinsons and recently he had a fall and ended up in the hospital. Fortunately, not seriously injured but they have upgraded his status for care from a level 2 to a level 3 which means he needs to go in a nursing home. So, I’ve been busy dealing with his social worker, contacting nursing homes, going through the process to have him admitted. It’s hard to find the time to do all of this between sick kids, work, my business (which suddenly became really busy over the past week), and life in general. I’m just going to tackle each project one at a time until I’m done them all.

And a very big concern is Alec’s school environment. He has had problems since the beginning there and they got better for a while but now they seem to be getting worse again. He’s bullied and teased on a regular basis. At first the staff seemed to take it seriously but now they seem to think he is just tattling all the time. I recognize there is a balance, but I think it’s happening so frequently with Alec that they are getting tired of hearing it. He is a different kid and stands out and nearly ALL the kids in his class seem to zero in on him. We took him yesterday to start the process of having him tested for ADD. Since he was an infant people have told us that he probably has ADD but I always looked at it as he had certain behaviours that he needed help with. I hated labelling it. And it was always manageable but now that he is in the school system and of course having trouble conforming, it’s becoming more of a problem. Now fortunately, the counsellor we took him to, is not a proponent of medication except as a very last resort with extreme cases. And it will also let us find out if there is really anything to the potential Asperger’s aspect as well. So we have a lot of decisions to make regarding Alec with school, life, etc.

I think when I get overwhelmed, I’ll do like that taxi guy in that movie where Tom Cruise is the hitman. Take a moment to visit in my head some beautiful get away vacation place:)

Yep, I’m at work writing a blog entry, for shame;) I’m going to be here for a while and I’m in again tomorrow. I like my job quite a bit actually and don’t dread going in each day but look forward to it.

However, I really, really hate that my children are in sub level (at least by my standards) care and are in these places because I’ve had to go to work. I’m not happy with Bram’s daycare lately and I’m shopping around for another place for him. I wish I could afford to put him in the Montessori preschool. Fortunately he spends only his mornings at daycare and his afternoons with Kevin. And I wish there was an alternative school in Fredericton for Alec. We’ve met with the teacher and the methods and resources teacher about Alec and his situation, a couple of times already last semester. I’m going to schedule another meeting with them, but I think there is a very real possibility that we will move him to a different school. I hate to stereotype but his school is in a low income area and there are a lot of rough kids. And with the problems he is having, he doesn’t need it any more difficult than it already is.

Back to work

Lately one of the things I’ve been working on with Alec is having him stop and look carefully before he leaves a room to see if anything needs to be done. He’s on a new point system to earn his allowance. He gains points by doing things around the house, etc. Tonight, while I was putting Bram to sleep, he completely, without prompting or being asked, told, etc. cleared the table, unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it up with the dirty dishes, picked up the toys off the floor and gave the cats food and water. I was so proud of him and he was very proud of himself that he thought of unloading and loading the dishwasher.

You know it’s going to be a bad day when you oversleep, have a migraine, forget half your stuff at home and then your zipper breaks on your dress pants while at work, sigh.

My heart is weeping lately from everything that Alec is undergoing. It appears that we are building to a huge emotional crisis with him. He has had such a rough time over the past several years. So many moves, from city to city, within city, etc. His parents separating, the problems in school, getting sick and more. Everything seems to be coming to a head. Today he openly grieved about the separation. You think you’re doing everything “right”. Parents are good friends, both with a strong vested interest in his well being. We’re both actively involved in his life. Lots of love and affection. Yet even when you do everything by the book it still doesn’t deflect a little boy’s grief over his changed life. He told me today that his life changed forever last year. He’s right, it did. And he seemed to have recovered and dealt with the separation well. But today everything surfaced again. I think partly from the emotional experiences he has been undergoing at school. In his mind, the last time he was really happy was before the separation and now with problems at school being exacerbated, everything has come to a peak. All I know, is that I’ll do whatever I have to, to help him. If it means moving schools, more counselling, whatever, I’ll do it.